Many people seem to having trouble with all the terms in the fiscal crisis. Here is a handy guide I have prepared. Hope this helps.
You go to the grocery store and buy an orange, take it home, and eat it when it ripens.
You go to the grocery store. You borrow 100 oranges and immediately sell them to someone else. You wait for the price of oranges to go down. You buy 100 cheaper oranges, return them to the bank and pocket the difference in price. Everybody hates you.
You take your rich uncle’s money, borrow more, and secretly buy lots of oranges on the cheap. Then you then drive up the price of oranges. At the same time, you short oranges. Either way, you keep 20 percent of profits. Everybody envies you.
You take a bowling league’s meager savings and try to copy what the hedge funds were doing. Everybody pities you.
Owns the orange groves. Always makes money.
The aging greeter who encourages you to buy more oranges than you can afford.
Rotting oranges infested with worms.
You buy a huge amount of oranges — including the diseased ones — chop them up and sell the whole thing off in baskets of varying sizes and quality. Nobody knows what they are buying.
Clerk who says the worm-infested oranges in the basket are really very sweet and delicious.
“Credit default swap”
Insurance in case the bad oranges spoils the bunch. Sold at checkout counter.
“Special Investment Vehicle (SIV)”
The store stashes the rotten oranges in the freezer and forgets about them.
Cashier who pockets a few cents every time oranges are bought and sold. Stuck with lots of unsold fruit baskets.
Ex-cashier promoted to management.
The government buys all the worm-infested oranges and makes you eat them.